World’s Worst Novel: Chapters One and Two

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94 Responses to World’s Worst Novel: Chapters One and Two

  1. Dude Stacker says:

    I miss the blue clickies.

  2. DN says:

    i’m a little suspicious of skinny Pete 😕
    especially from how she said that. hmmm…

    and poor Angie, those ‘artsy’ places always have lousy food.

    Blue clickies?? I never had any blue clickies. Xty, how come Dude used to have blue clickies?

  3. xty says:

    There is something weird about the links. There is one near the end of page four, but for some reason it is pale blue on my screen. And if you click on the mini version on the sidebar, the links work but the cursor doesn’t change on my computer.

    I got tied in knots trying to fix it! And I just didn’t have enough imagination for the links but I promise they will come back. I think a link to a map soon would be good. But I will have to draw it. If I base a place on somewhere real it seems odd to link to it … but I was thinking of linking to photos if that would be interesting, but ones that don’t show place names.

    It is a very open concept, and I was hoping to go back and add some links to today’s pages – I am finally feeling somewhat better – but didn’t get there because of the display issues. I am hoping to have soundtrack stuff – like music playing in the bar maybe too.

    DN – there should be hyperlinks throughout the first two pages … try the mini-link.

  4. Dude Stacker says:

    It’s official- Spring Is Here! My Orioles are back.

  5. Dude Stacker says:

    And there is also another bird in the sky today- neighbor has an airstrip and a ’30’s biplane. It’s a dual cockpit trainer used in WWII, she says she will give me a ride- I’ve been waiting for an invite- might have to invite myself.

  6. xty says:

    Blue sky!

  7. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    may i donate this Eddie Minnis painting to Fat Freddie’s?

  8. xty says:

    Yes – I have to reinvent Mr Minnis to rid him of his religiously based homophobia, but other than that he is a treat. The Bahamas have been affected horribly by Aids, and it didn’t help his outlook.

    I had to make a youtube video to link to for his buffet song – I heard that in a place called Paradise Cove and had to hunt it down. It was paradise except for the noseeums that attacked my mum and daughter brutally and brought them down with a hideous allergic reaction, hives … horrible.

  9. xty says:

    I could certainly put Dude’s neighbour, the female pilot with a beautiful bi-plane, into the novel.

    That painting is fabulous. We stayed on Harbour Island once too … and I don’t remember noseeums.

  10. Dude Stacker says:

    I was wondering if you’d take the bait. Feel free.

  11. DN says:

    That painting… just looked at it for about 15 minutes, will give it a go tomorrow.

    DP? Everybody?

  12. Dude Stacker says:

    Angie- take off your wet bikini and put on your sailin’ shoes.

  13. DN says:

    Just did another 20 minutes of the Eddie Mannis painting, not sure what the name of it is,.. “Red Tree”

    There is the bright red tree, so if this painting were to be hung somewhere to add color to a hallway or something, it should work fine. But not where people might stand and actually look at it for any length of time.

    “irritating”
    just look at the whole painting without focusing on anything specific for a bit and you will slowly start to feel irritated. Because your eye/mind is sort of noticing all the individual problems with this painting, even though nothing specific jumps right out at you.
    you will want to almost squint a little and sort of pull back/cock your head a little maybe..

    Now pick an object, (plant, shadow, building, person, whatever) and ask yourself “Where is the Sun?”.. maybe even hold your left hand up where you think the sun might be while still looking at only that one object.
    Now look from object to object to object and notice your hand moving.

    The Red Tree’s shadow is probably the most obvious ‘problem’, for the sake of picking out one specific example, as it doesn’t work from any Sun location.

    So what happened? Did Eddie set out there and paint this thing throughout the day, as the sun was moving? It appears so. And it appears that he was facing south(SSW) as the Sun went from the east to the west throughout the day.. (left to right in the painting)

    (I pick facing south with the sun going from left/east to right/west because of the order in which he appears to have painted the objects. )

    Many Suns aside, Eddie’s 1-Size Constancy and 2-Detail depth cue errors are the most irritating.

    look at the people walking, size constancy and position say the little guy is way down the street.. detail says he’s much closer to the big guy. your eye constantly goes back and forth, it’s irritating. you will look away.

    Look at the shingles then the red blooms, then the shingles, then the red blooms. where is the detail in the red blooms Eddie?

    I think Eddie got tired on this one and just wrapped it up.

    there’s plenty more, but no need to get down into the weeds.

    At a glance or from a galloping horse, this painting is what it is. Red.

    As a painting to be enjoyed, it irritates and forces looking away.

    Wife is forcing me to “Let’s Go!” go eat… hey, don’t want to argue with the Mrs. on that one. 🙂

  14. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    Dude – i think she should put on her red shoes!

    DN – he has a style. that is all i read into it. you must really hate Charles Wysocki! well, i actually don’t like his (Wysocki) stuff either. but it all is perspective (pun). anyway, i wish i could paint as well as either of these guys.

    i like bold colors, and i have been to tropical locations a few times. i remember Mexico and the Caribbean both for lots of red flowers, and very bright sun. so that is what drew me to that painting. i was actually looking for Bahamian ocean scenes – boats or lighthouses.

    i started smoking some ribs at noon, tilting beers at three. i will probably become a pest later. 😯

  15. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    :mrgreen: says…

  16. EO says:

    Just saw a Bald Eagle, practically right over my house, being chased around by a crow.

  17. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    don’t forget it’s Cinco de Mayo… chapter 3. Angie is over served tequila shooters. i think you’re going to like this Dude.

    :mrgreen:

  18. EO says:

    OK, I can’t write for shit, but at least I can tell when another writer has completely and utterly dropped the ball.

    Episode 1 of season 4 of Mad Men, Don Draper when being interviewed by some newspaper hack explains how he saved the firm by explaining, he had a critical choice, and I quote, “I could die of boredom, or holster up my guns.”

    It was a watershed moment in the show, and a dramatic way to verbalize it.

    So here we are in Season 7, Don is scraping the bottom of the bottle, and his buddy Freddie is trying to buck him up, tell him to get back to work, and what does he say????????? Does he say “Holster up your guns.” ?????????

    Fuck No. Some crap about “do the work”, or whatever.

    The entire writer crew of “Mad Men” should be drawn and quartered. I could have hit that fucker out of the park and through a windshield somewhere downtown. In my sleep. And if they are saving it for later, I’m going to puke.

  19. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    it is best to always foot note.

  20. EO says:

    Here’s yer footnote

  21. Pete Maravich says:

    EO, i’ve been watching Mad Men for about 3 seasons now, and catching old episodes on AMC on Sun mornings at 7:00. Maybe it has always been the case, but there are too many characters running around, and i don’t give a shit about half of them, would you really miss that guy that Harry Hamlin is playing? I also see where they are splitting this final season into two halves, just like they did with “Breaking Bad”. I still like and watch the show, but am not surprised when i’m disappointed.

  22. Pete Maravich says:

  23. EO says:

    Yes, Hamlin’s character has been extremely dickish lately. He needs to get smacked, and hard, though not as hard as Lou. Then there’s Peggy, and Joan, and Bert. I really don’t understand the hostility everywhere. So he blew a presentation. Big deal, everybody blows one now and then. Don is not allowed to be human? Sheesh. None of those people would have a pot to piss in without Don.

    And yes, the split season is a dick move by the network too.

  24. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    :mrgreen:kill

  25. Dude Stacker says:

    Another one for my girl Angie-

  26. Dude Stacker says:

    Don’t ask me- it wouldn’t even let me delete it.

  27. Dude Stacker says:

    Youtube seems to have slipped it’s fetters and entered into a fugue state.

  28. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    i had to look up fugue. i’m slipping. but i remember do re mi so la.

    you know you liked these guys too.

  29. Pete Maravich says:

  30. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    pencil in your own colors.

  31. Pete Maravich says:

  32. DN says:

    DP- Is M.D. 20/20 a top shelf wine? I might not be able to tell the difference between the Dog and a top shelfer, but those who know the difference would unanimously reject the M.D. 20/20.

    The art/Painting world is similar. As Xty says “a picture is supposed to tell a story”… well, a painting is like a novel.
    I wasn’t meaning to sound snooty or “pick” at Red Tree. I don’t “like” or “dislike” it necessarily. Take 2 top shelf paintings- one might resonate more with me than the other, so as a matter of personal preference I might “like” it.

    Red Tree is M.D. 20/20. As are a lot of zillion dollar paintings.
    Take all of Red Tree’s depth and lighting anomalies… A really good painting might have similar anomalies but for a reason… maybe to maintain the emotion, or direct your attention, and it would all play.
    Not being negative or insulting the Red Tree, or Eddie. Just breaking down the painting as a painting which is what I studied/did for many years that i could have probably better spent.
    I really really like Xty’s writing, but i don’t know why. Dude’s pictures, like the baseball pic, quite a good pic to me, but i’m the first to admit i don’t know diddly about photography.
    But when it comes to paintings, -the actual paintings-, i’m right at home.( i never care who painted it nor do i know or want to know any Artist Trivia)

    The DP Bird in the Desert painting is many shelves above Red Tree. Give me Bird in the Desert and i will spend at least 2 weeks lecturing about it in front of a Master’s level Art Appreciation class (if such exists), to rave reviews.

    Not having looked at paintings for a long time, these posted paintings have been great fun for me, i hope my comments about them haven’t been taken the wrong way.

  33. Pete Maravich says:

    Silver up .06 cents, then back down .03, back up .09, truly fascinating. I can’t understand how you guys (gal) can sleep through it all.

  34. Pete Maravich says:

  35. Pete Maravich says:

  36. xty says:

    Pete holds down the fort but should be sleeping!

    I don’t mind the painting criticism – I like the painting because the colours and setting are true and take me to a place where I was very happy – nothing to do with the art.

    I have been here, exactly, and sat on the bench Mr Minnis has painted himself on:

  37. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    no problems from me either DN. i just tend to not be that critical of art. if the artist got down on the canvas what was in his head, then it is good. after that, it is a matter of personal taste. admittedly this is the opinion of someone that never studied art.

    huge move in the dollar. gold, silver, nothing. beat ya to it EO!

  38. DN says:

    Aaahhhhhhh Bay Street. This was comfortably painted throughout and is comfortable to look at.
    No part of Bay Street claims to be something that another part can’t deliver. Everything is comfortable. You just want to breath deep, slowly nod, and eventually start to smile.
    The painter is not lazy, but areas requiring long periods of detailed focus take him away from his overall comfortable mood and you can see the anxiety. He didn’t enjoy painting the tree, but it didn’t throw him off.

    The man on the bench and the little girl “get it”… whatever “it” is. The other people/animals are obligatory and are added for future viewers. I.e., if he were painting this painting for himself, and never intended for anyone to see it, the animals and people (other than bench man and maybe little girl) probably would not be there.
    The yellow house is skewed, but maybe it really is skewed.
    And here again (as in Red Tree) the shadows along with the direct and reflective lighting are all.. let’s say- ‘bonkers’, (to save an hour of typing)
    But he’s a feeler, not a thinker, and again no part of this painting pretends to be architectural. So the same shortcomings that scream out in Red Tree, are pretty much irrelevant in Bay Street. Bay Street doesn’t ask you to focus on the objects anyway, it’s not about them.
    This painting was like a stroll on the beach that was just the perfect distance for him. And he prefers to stroll alone. He’s an introvert,.. not a ‘people person’. There is no invitation to “step into” this painting. It would be tempting to walk down past the tree and look left and enjoy the beautiful view,– but the -man on the bench’s personal space, and the dog that might bite, and the possibly indignant rooster are all spaced out like defensive linemen.
    We are to stay put, while the man on the bench and the little girl enjoy what is the best part of Bay Street… the Sunshine on the water that only they get to enjoy. He’s not being selfish, it’s just very personal to him.

  39. xty says:

    Go Habs Go!

  40. xty says:

    Go Habs Go!
    x2

  41. DN says:

    Yes indeed, beat Boston

  42. EO says:

    Bob Moriarty is utterly aghast to find out about the blatant theft that goes on in junior resource companies. I’m not. Standard Operating Procedure. 🙄

    Newport Exploration rapes own investors

    EDIT: The name Ian Rozier is not new to me, though I can’t quite place it. I’m pretty sure it’s one of the names Doug Casey used to push as one you can always trust to make you money. No doubt, Casey was on the inside of this one.

  43. EO says:

    Amazingly, if you google “Ian Rozier Doug Casey”, you get the following from back in the day. Barbara Dunfield pops up as well. And Chase Resources. I lost money on that one. I have a long memory about stuff like that.

  44. Pete Maravich says:

    i’m not even a love song guy, but i like this tune. good morning all.

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