World’s Worst Novel: Chapter Five

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52 Responses to World’s Worst Novel: Chapter Five

  1. Dude Stacker says:

    I sense a catfight looming……..

  2. Dude Stacker says:

    Today begins a 9 day period of honeydo servitude- “can you chainsaw this, can you get me a truckload of mulch, we need to replace both of those storm doors, can you start the weed whacker for me- better yet can you just do it, please? ad infinitum

    Rain would be welcome.

  3. xty says:

    I had forgotten “the chainsaw this”, and the truck load of mulch … thank you!

    But it has been a long winter and you men folk are so clever and strong … it really is better if you do most of the chores so they will at least get done right.

  4. EO says:

    Only 9 days? Nice.

    It’s fine though. I’m convinced that if it weren’t for women, men would still be living in caves. Though we’d still be perfectly happy about it.

    A couple hundred thousand years ago (young earthers, send your complaints to “Go Fuck Yourself”) some woman said, “honey, can you maybe hang some reeds over the entrance to our cave?” The man thought to himself, “Aw shit, here it comes.” Paradise Lost.

  5. xty says:

    A) Yes, I hope we can agree that the world is older than 6,000 years.

    B) I think you might have just solved early cave paintings, showing animals and hunting scenes. They weren’t stories told after the fact, they were early to-do lists.

    Rock art of the Mediterranean Basin on the Iberian peninsula: prehistoric painters

  6. EO says:

    I thought this was a reasonably interesting article:

    What ‘This Time It’s Different’ Really Means

    But in truth, I really began to only skim as I went, because my mind was already racing onwards toward another, tangentially related topic. That being, the often used snark phrase, “This will not end well.” A favorite tag line of doom-bloggers everywhere, it seems on it’s face that it can hardly be argued with. And yet, how does one determine where is the end point at which one should stop and make judgement as to whether things are “well” or not? It seems to be a key and generally glossed over point.

    One could say The Black Death did not end well, and yet it ushered in a period of great prosperity. With labor in short supply, wages and freedom were high, and resources abundant, for the survivors and several generations thereafter. The power of the church and the aristocracy was reigned in. Advancements in human thought led onward into the Renaissance. It was a boom time. So, with the appropriate perspective, one can easily see that even something as terrible as a great plague ended quite well indeed.

    So, it all depends on your point of view. Keep this in mind as you read headlines and blog comments alike.

  7. xty says:

    Absolutely. It denies any progress in the human condition, which is prima facie nonsense, she said typing on her MacBook, while the eggs boil.

  8. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    yup. but it’s even worse than i thought. first Dan is going to get screwed over on the real estate deal, then after that they are going to whack him.

    progress is a dirty word Xty. remember your “Logical” song. watch what you say.

    funny thing is that there have always been reactionary wing-nuts in every generation. it is a miracle man ever did crawl out of the cave, especially if it only was 6000 years ago. that’s practically yesterday. no wonder men still struggle with unwanted ear and back hair, and also gender roles!

  9. DN says:

    > 6,000 for sure Xty B
    Probably about 4,500,000,000 laps around the Sun (per Bible and Science)

    4,000 B.C. (only 6,000 years ago) was when Adam/Eve created.
    That was after the entire (Biblical)First Earth Age!! (that science, in agreement, refers to as the prehistoric periods, …with Dinosaurs and such)
    Further…. Adam/Eve didn’t come along until about 7,000 years AFTER the ice melted, the dimensions were separated, and this ‘flesh’ age (#2) got rolling.
    So even if the 6,000 year club is completely unaware of the entire First Earth Age, ok fine, but uhhh… What about the first 7,000 years of this age??

    i think this all fits into EOs ‘how this ends’ scenario. Kind of like a cleanse,… after the worst is over, what remains will be a lot better off!! Sounds good to me! 😎

    Now to read chapter 5!!

  10. xty says:

    DN – I have told you before that I think it is bonkers, but I admire the way you persist, and are polite about it. And we have at least agreed that the world is old and there were dinosaurs.

    And what is a novel without a cat-fight?

  11. DN says:

    Xty- I know!!
    But my point was that once AGAIN, your Atheist perception of reality is Biblically correct, as opposed to the Biblical perception of the so-called “christian” community/aka 6,000 year club, which is once again, and as usual,… Biblically incorrect.
    You know I always love it when you do that!

    Edit- not sure what happened with the italics, but my burritos are beeping so… apologies.

  12. EO says:

    Hate to get off on a rant here, but don’t you dare put on a headline that says “7 dead…”. No, there are 6 people dead, and one low down slime ball of DNA, lower than some amoeba somewhere, that ain’t replicating no more, and good riddance. I’d put my heel on you and smear you across the sidewalk myself given the chance. But certainly not a human being.

    Seven dead in drive-by shooting near UC Santa Barbara

  13. EO says:

    And now of course the wave of NRA subhumans are out in force on the comment sections, saying it’s all the liberals fault and if only we had more guns on the street everything would be hunky dory. Fuck those guys.

  14. Dude Stacker says:

    It’s that time. Old gal worked me into a thirst.

  15. Pete Maravich says:

    Dude, very impressed with that 18:01 time stamp. I sure hope that this goes 7, and the HABS prevail. Hi all. http://nypost.com/hockey/

  16. Pete Maravich says:

  17. xty says:

    Go Habs Go. I am making extremely healthy salsa/cheese/beer sauce for the game.

    I think they are back home for this one, so at least some of the national anthem will be sung in French. It was all English in Toronto and then when we moved to Ottawa, and once the kids were in school, we noticed the middle verse was always in French, and I miss it now when they go all English, because it leaves out the lovely word epooopayuh.

    Official French lyrics (which do not mean the same thing as the English ones):

    Ô Canada!
    Terre de nos aïeux,
    Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux!
    Car ton bras sait porter l’épée,
    Il sait porter la croix!
    Ton histoire est une épopée
    Des plus brillants exploits.
    Et ta valeur, de foi trempée,
    Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.
    Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.

    I used to loathe bilingualism, but now I just loathe the official implementation.

    Here are the two other versions, the Official English, and then the translation of the French:

    O Canada!
    Our home and native land!
    True patriot love in all thy sons command.
    With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
    The True North strong and free!
    From far and wide,
    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
    God keep our land glorious and free!
    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

    translation of French:

    O Canada!
    Land of our forefathers,
    Thy brow is wreathed with a glorious garland of flowers.
    As is thy arm ready to wield the sword,
    So also is it ready to carry the cross.
    Thy history is an epic
    Of the most brilliant exploits.
    Thy valour steeped in faith
    Will protect our homes and our rights
    Will protect our homes and our rights

    You can see how the French version is far superior.

  18. Pete Maravich says:

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  21. Pete Maravich says:

    last one until Woodpecker shows. what a great place. tks.

  22. Pete Maravich says:

  23. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    rat-tat-tat rat-tat-tat rat-tat-tat

  24. Pete Maravich says:

  25. Pete Maravich says:

  26. Dryocopus pileatus says:

  27. xty says:

    Wrong teams playing hockey last night, right teams going to play tonight. Got a little excited too early.

    Which is not why I am up. It isn’t raining, and I am at home, but they are so cute. I was pretty cute in 1966 too, but I would have been three.

  28. xty says:

    And one of the saddest songs ever, which I never managed to sing to the kids without crying:

  29. xty says:

    Two worlds about to collide. Hard to see Kent State right around the corner. I really feel for Americans. You have had a much harsher last 50 years than we have had, and it is no surprise you are polarized and a bit bruised.

  30. xty says:

    If it is already on the web, it must be okay to retweet it, so to speak. Without comment, but with a link. Who says homeschooled kids are shy? Okay, that was a comment, so I must add one more: one of these people is very handsome.

    Ottawa Rock Lottery

  31. Dude Stacker says:

    O.k., so I’m sitting here with my coffee this a.m. and catching up when the wife says “whatcha doin’?” I reply “I’m reading French”. (O Canada)
    A little while later I say “hey, I just recognized a person I’ve never met before”. (Andrew)
    I picked him out as your son right away before confirming with the link.

  32. xty says:

    It is the look of stunning intelligence that gives it away!

  33. Dude Stacker says:

    Like father, like son 😆

    Takin’ a break, she went to her folks house to plant some flowers.

  34. Dude Stacker says:

    Caught this little winged beastie yesterday while sitting on the patio waiting for the grill to heat up- beer in one hand, book in the other, camera on my lap, occasionally put down the beer and pick up the brandy from the side table.

  35. xty says:

    That’s pretty good for point and snap, and I do think your hummingbird blind is excellent. For a moment I thought you were going to grill him, but you would have to catch too many.

  36. DN says:

    Well… i couldn’t help it, i had to look.
    After a couple of days on Drudge and suspecting that it was the Memorial Day version of the Boston Marathon Bombing/Sandy Hook/Ed Snowden/Moon Landing… i finally clicked on it.
    First i committed to being open minded and vowed to give it no more than 10 minutes of my life, and whatever the gut said would be good enough for now but not good enough or ever intended to debate the issue.
    “click” . . . wimpy kid, really wimpy kid, stabs/kills adult males, no names no pics, hollywood family, goes on shooting rampage, no details, then mostly bio stuff on the kid. multiple stereotypical profiles all of troubled wimpy kid, but conflicting in reality. in one profile he’s totally obsessed with step-mom, in another he’s a failed campus “player”, neither of which would have stabbed adult males, then shooting rampage.
    obsessed step-son would probably have committed suicide in ‘make her feel guilty’ setup. Super wimpy failed “player” might have stabbed a girl or two in a tizzy night-club emotional meltdown, but doubtful. profiles project a materialistic angle that would better fit a middle-aged “finally made it!!” ‘degree’less failed “player”.
    And of course, he committed suicide in the end, and has probably already been cremated and had his ashes scattered over Osama’s watery grave.
    10-minute gut Hoaxometer says 91.75% hoax

  37. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    c’est samedi numéro deux. so here’s a tune to relax to. if i could, a beer i’d rax you. :mrgreen:

  38. DN says:

    that was a chilly little tune DP

    Xty, tomorrow is Memorial Day here in the U.S.. We shall remember your people that died in service too, if you don’t mind.

    …and i still can’t read the French, but seeing it does always remind me of Regina Botkin, the girl from my French 101 class in 1987. … …Man that was a really good class

    See DP, to try and make up for my previous ‘downer’ post, now i’m expanding Memorial Day to include Canadian Heroes and hot chicks from College. 😎

  39. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    Herr Grün fragt…

  40. xty says:

    Good Morning. Les Canadiens ne sont pas allés. Domage.

    I don’t think that is proper other than it literally says the Habs didn’t go, pity, which is I figure how you have to respond to the cry of Go Habs Go.

    I really don’t like the Lakers. Why is a basketball team playing hockey anyway?

  41. xty says:

    I know they are the Kings by the way. Just they are also the team that Gretzky defected to.

  42. Dude Stacker says:

    Do you have a Youppi! or a bleu-blanc-rouge?

  43. EO says:

    The computer program I’ve been playing chess against just cheated. Moved a rook like a knight. I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.

    It’s us against the machines folks. And they cheat.

    Mind…Officially…Blown.

  44. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    here’s another one like that EO.

  45. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    and this just because GIF files are fun.

  46. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    i only just now saw that today’s word is “rhetoric”. i think this article passes muster.

    http://www.salon.com/2013/01/29/barack_obama_wall_street_co_conspirator/

  47. xty says:

    I am behind my times today, but mostly garden and packing for NFLD and lazing about.

  48. xty says:

    EO – it is only a matter of time. I have begun to suspect spell-check … I think it is sending me weird messages. And I was listening to a really silly podcast yesterday and they take apart Yahoo questioners, and someone had asked what to do about her best friend turning out to be a robot. And the hosts said, what if no one believed you and you were the first one to notice the invasion ….

    Funny lads from one of the Virginia’s. How come there is no East Virginia, btw?

    My Brother, My Brother and Me

  49. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    well, it’s kind of a tradition.

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