World’s Worst Novel: Chapter Fifteen

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143 Responses to World’s Worst Novel: Chapter Fifteen

  1. Dryocopus pileatus says:

  2. Dryocopus pileatus says:

  3. Dryocopus pileatus says:

  4. Dryocopus pileatus says:

  5. Dryocopus pileatus says:

  6. EO says:

    I have some inside information about The Kid and The Girlfriend. Not official yet, but baked in the cake all the same.

  7. EO says:

    And next week we move The Daughter off to college. Gee Whiz, not a lot going on here right now!

    (dang! I gotta figure out how to get that hand-me-down futon back together!)

  8. EO says:

    Oh yeah, and it looks like I’ll be selling my “regular” car to a niece soon, so I’m in the market for a new car. Somehow feels like a minor item on my radar right now. Life is weird.

    I’ll drive “The Dog Car” until I get around to it. It’s a 1996 Subaru Impreza with 180k. The interior is trashed. It’s like someone sprayed a mixture of sand, dog hair, and dog drool all over the interior with a firehose. Plus all the foam from the seats that are falling apart and disintigrating right in front of our eyes. 2nd gear went out (it’s a stick) 9 years ago. It’s been on it’s “last legs” for 9 years and 40,000 miles. I’ve been shifting from 1st to 3rd (bum-bu-bu-bu-bu) for so long it seems normal for me. It’s been doing nothing but dog running, hunting, and fishing for 9 years. The Wife and Kids won’t even sit in it any more. It smells (August is the worst), but it’s a legend. And I’ve spent almost nothing on it but oil changes and insurance the whole time. I always think it’s one $500 job away from the boneyard, and yet it’s still here.

    And when push comes to shove, and I have to get somewhere safely in a foot of snow, gimme “The Dog Car”.

  9. EO says:

    A few weeks ago, I thought “this is it”. I thought “The Dog Car” was done. Major blow out of power steering fluid. Literally pouring out as fast as I could pour it in.

    My miracle garage guy figured out it was a $24 hose. It would take two days to get here, because it is usually sold in a whole rebuild kit, not alone, but still…$24. So at the end of the day with labor and everything we got a whole new lease on life for under $100.

  10. EO says:

    I already have my eye on the next “dog car”. It’s the ’98 Outback I got for The Kid.

    But the sumbitch won’t let it go. I made it as plain as day, gimme the ’98, and I’ll buy you a newer one. But he likes that car and won’t give it up.

    Where does he get that stuff? Sometimes when “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”, it’s a real pain in the ass. 😯

  11. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    i cleaned up a skillet yesterday on/in the grill. so i wasted some wood and charcoal, but i really wanted to see if i could do it. it works. i think i will make some cornbread in it now, also on the grill. it is way to steamy here today to run the gas oven. if it looks pretty and tastes good, i’ll show it off. if you never hear me mention it again, it sucked. i have cooked corn bread in cast iron before, but always in the oven.

    by the way, i thought the skillet was generic, but it does say “? INCH SKILLET” across the center bottom, and is marked with a letter “S” along the rim. it is the old style with the smooth cooking surface. it measures to be 8-10 inches across whether spanning the bottom or top.

    btw – i lurked at the puke puddle for the first time in over a week this afternoon. i am happy to report that the site is very close to final self destruction. as i have always said, hate is in a way self limiting. the sites dies when there is only one intolerant wing-nut remaining who leaves out of boredom because there is no one left to fight with. it shouldn’t be long now.

    one last thing EO. do not under any circumstances buy a Chevy. if i live to 1000 years, i’ll still never buy government motors again. soab!

  12. EO says:

    No problem there. Our whole family is “in the tank” for Subaru nowadays. “All Wheel Drive” is a game changer, especially here in the northland.

    That first time you see some goofball in his big-ass truck spinning his wheels in town during a storm, and you just calmly pull away in your Sub, you are sold for life.

    Yes, agreed, crazy ass shit over there at “The Swamp”. “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away”, I described it as “the lunatic fringe of the lunatic fringe”.

    Nailed it.

  13. EO says:

    Somebody asked GL a direct question today. It was a good question and he was upset and full of indignation about it. That was a lot of bluster from a guy who’s been unemployed and sitting on his ass in his NY apartment for the past four years, lol.

    So…yes or no?

  14. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    you have read all my PR stuff that i researched. i think it is likely that GL is a sock puppet. he may still be paid by Turd as a mod or just to spin, but just as likely he is paid to post from outside TFMR. also remember he claims that his career ended with him being a big shot in the pharmaceutical industry. i suspect that he may have been a lobbyist. even if he is just expressing his opinions and nothing else, man did that guy ever become an arrogant and egotistical prick – or was he always like that? anyway i was glad to see him getting some comeuppance today.

    i have come to believe that practically the whole site at one point was hijacked by various corporate and right wing causes. now that the site is dying, and people are waking up to the game on message boards and blogs, probably not so much anymore. some wing-nuts are just wing-nuts, and some bigots are really just plain pigs. and people like Stane will only have a voice on the web, because in real life, some one always will stuff a sock in festering pie holes like that. but she does truly seems to be one agenda driven bitch. she surely gets paid something for her spin. she is active politically in Austin as you know.

    in the coming years, as i have said, i think it will become clear how infiltrated, compromised, neutralized the internet has been almost from day one. remember all i have said. i’m going to be even more right than the clairvoyant genius Mr. Fix.

    going to put the corn bread on the grill any minute. see ya later.

  15. EO says:

    The thing that tipped me off years ago was how he was always talking about how he was always rubbing elbows with the guys in the executive suite, and yet his own spelling and grammar were simply atrocious. Horrifying. That doesn’t fit.

    OK, tell me some story about how that goes in NY, but not anywhere else. Yeah, right. Sorry. You lose.

    Maybe he was in the mailroom. Or janitorial staff. It’s get pretty personal in there sometimes.

  16. EO says:

    There’s another friend of ours, who I know reads this blog, who…OK…his spelling and grammar are not that great, and he has linguistic quirks I can spot a mile away, BUT, the difference is, he’s never pretended to be something he’s not. HUGE DIFFERENCE.

    And, for the record, after probably 20,000 posts among a small circle of friends, I pretty much assume that I have some quirks of my own. I could change my name and avatar across the web, and I bet there about a half dozen people who could still spot me. And you know what? I’m OK with that.

  17. EO says:

    OH, sweet JEEEZus, did I just say “It’s get” up thread there? ffs boys. ffs…

  18. EO says:

    And Dags has hundreds of thousands of ounces of silver buried in BC. And Fix used to drink two cases of beer a day. These people are cartoon characters and nothing more.

    One interesting thing recently, is I think SSJ, a guy who I used to disagree with but who I had no reason to doubt his integrity, should probably be seeing the light and quitting that ridiculous blog pretty damn soon.

  19. EO says:

    As for Stephanie, yeah I used to withhold the info about her being in Austin, but then she let it out herself. OK.

    I still know her last name, and have a more personal email address. I suppose I could unleash that on the world, but no. It wouldn’t be right. I still believe in “what goes around, comes around”.

  20. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    same here. i have nothing to hide. that is a big reason why i have never been afraid to tell jack holes to go pound sand on blogs. i am just a nobody with a normal sized ego. these jerks have no leverage on me at all. the other thing is that if you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything, as Mark Twain said. do you remember all the times i caught and busted people for lying? but those guys were slippery slimy worms, and it was impossible to ever get them to admit it when you had them cornered. just look at Turd himself. he denies ever making any shitty calls to this day!!! what was that shameful farce then, when he “ate his hat”? what about his buddy Sinclair, MacGuire, or the secret Chinamen whistle blowers? or Jim fucking Willie? good grief.

    and the other quirky fellow invested a lot of himself in that site, and was the best thing the site had going for it, for a very long time. and as soon as he began calling out Turd and the shit Stane for pretty obvious stuff he was instantly shunned – just like me, you and Xty.

    i burned the hell out of the corn bread. no need to take a picture.

  21. EO says:

    And it’s been one hell of a Hot, Explosive, and Historic stock market rally for these past few years, and yet the article of faith from Turd and across the spectrum of all these doommongering agenda drivers has been to stay the hell away from it.

    If even just ONE of these sumbitches would come out and say “OK we’ve made 40% in ponzi paper, now lets oscillate back to metal”, then I’d respect that. But no. In order to have kept your bona fides to the cult you have to have been long metal, short stocks, and short bonds, for years now. NOBODY can stand those sort of losses with real money unless you were one of the string pullers from the start, pushing your political and economic agenda for pay. Either you had money to lose from the start, or you were a fraud from the get-go with no real skin in the game ever. Let the sheep get shorn, no skin off your back.

  22. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    btw – my moniker has been a variation of woodpecker since 1999 on the financial blogs. i have said and done things online that i regret, but i am not going to change my identity like so many of the losers at TFMR have done. i know this exactly because of what you say above. you can track people linguistically.

    another thing is that you me and the other guy were all banned by Turd. WTF? we were the ones being pounded on all the time by the nutters, yet Turd felt threatened enough by us that he chose to close out our accounts. that is why i have said to one other who also got banned that it really is an honor, and that Turd is a pathetic coward.

    well, sorry if i went off on a little rant this afternoon. it has been a while since i lurked over there, and i am not so used to that putrid stench anymore.

    rant off

  23. EO says:

    So, I need some service on my oven. Either it needs a repair, or I need a new oven.

    It won’t get up to temp. And/or it won’t stay up to temp. It’s been going on for a while and I finally bought a little oven thermometer to see what’s going on, why all my shit takes forever to cook. Yup, it’s a mess. Gotta call for service before we start in on apple pie production.

    I suppose it will be some $500 micro chip so it’s cheaper to just get a new oven. Seems like that’s always how it is. Bastards.

  24. Dude says:

    OBAMA CRASH
    OF 2014-15

    President Obama

    As the shocking truth about Obama’s shameless crimes is finally revealed, all hell is about to break loose.

    Your savings, your investments and your family are now in greater danger than any time in years.

    Here’s what you must do immediately to protect your wealth and your family …

    Dear concerned American,

    need I continue? they still send me this shit.

    EO- I fixed my oven, 2 days before Thanksgiving- major potential freak out- I don’t remember exactly the fix, but it was doing the same thing and I called a local place, they told me the part I needed, got it for me and I installed it. Simple. Maybe you’ll get off as easily.

    I posted a vid earlier today, didn’t show up, reposted, but message said it was a dupe- not here tho.

  25. EO says:

    I really don’t recall any year where all the fearmongers were going out on a limb and calling for armageddon most definitely before year end. I mean really explicit time frames. End of 2014. Period. No waffling. They’ve all been so absolutely sure of themselves, (and oddly been so encouraged in a contrarian sense by being so incredibly wrong up through year end 2013, and continuing on into 2014).

    Absolutely, positively, by year end 2014, all hell is going to break loose. All sorts of names and credibility and websites and whatever all are on the line. Stocks and bonds to crash, metals and miners to da moon. Only 4.5 months left, motherfuckers!

    When you get it wrong on New Years Day, you are going to shut down your website, right?

    No?

    You are just going to push it out 6-12 months like you always do? Really? Can you do that? Well, I guess so. You’ve been doing it for 40 years already.

  26. EO says:

    Almost there. Even a stopped clock can feel like it’s right on the edge of getting it right.

  27. EO says:

    Mug Shot.

    Wait. Where’s the thing where he holds up the date and number? Where’s the orange jump suit? Where’s that “My wife is gonna kill me” look? Something tells me he’s getting special treatment. Well, it IS Texas.

    Rick Perry Turns Himself In

    And…I’m sorry but…you picked that tie? Please.

  28. EO says:

    But…But…Everybody does it!!!

    (just ask Scott Walker)

  29. EO says:

    Texas and Florida. And every state in between. Third world countries. Banana republics.

    I’m serious. Everybody up here just prays that their kids never have to move to the South. It’s like they would be lost forever. Might as well be on Mars.

    It’s bad enough for my kids, but I can’t bear the thought that my grandkids would be in those school systems. It’s a nightmare.

  30. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    checking back at the puke puddle i’m starting to wonder if that dumb shit Turd has finally realized that Fix is a huge net negative for TFMR? i would bet that Fix has caused more people to leave that site than the next ten demented dolts over there combined.

    also Pukeney apologized for not being around much, and no one replied. maybe there is hope yet for mankind. 🙂

  31. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    i tend to hate Texas too. but remember that even in the deep South and Texas there are moderate people. i try to feel sorry for the people who aren’t heard over all the shouting.

    as for the Gov Perry situation, i just hope everyone has read up on it. he definitely deserved to be indicted, even if there is plenty of political motivation (both sides) contributing to the situation.

  32. EO says:

    Gold taking a hit this morning. It wouldn’t be any big thing, except for the fact that it seems to have given up on both recent support and the 200 day avg. Nervous Nellie time for the gold bugs.

  33. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    are you following this EO? looks like Stane, Faux, and Bigottown will be the last ones left at that shit hole. is your popcorn ready yet? i want to stock up for the final implosion. do you still have that deer GIF?

    go to this forum before the big steaming Turd deletes the entire thread…

    “St. Louis & Ferguson, Missouri attack on media”

  34. EO says:

    Sadly, yes, I saw it. Steph is doing her thing, alienating yet another pair of long time posters. Her biggest defenders turn out to be…drumroll please…Fix and IRB. No shock there.

    When metals are down I like to go there to hear them whine, and yet these days they seem to be talking about anything BUT metals. So, I don’t even get that sort of enjoyment from it anymore. Now I have to go to ZH to mock the metal heads on down days. That never fails to entertain.

  35. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    Reply to: St. Louis & Ferguson, Missouri attack on media
    @SSJ – interesting that you should jump on that comment by stephanie
    13 hours 49 min ago

    And it’s not your thread. I don’t know where you have gotten the idea that you own this website, but I have gotten quite a few complaints about you in my PMs. If you want total control over your “threads” then start your own website. A blogger account is free. That’s how Craig got started.

    And I don’t know why you think you are free to abuse the writers here or someone who actually has administrative powers on this website such as myself. Turd has been very gracious to you but if you want a battle I can certainly come up with a lot of names of people who will be happy to sign a petition for your removal. So then you’ll claim you can get a bunch of people requesting my removal. To which I’ll say: Go check the number of hat tips and Facebook shares on all my blog posts, and compare them to everyone else’s. If Turd’s smart, he’ll keep the writer who gets the most Facebook shares out of anyone else. (And BTW, I am not actively promoting my posts.)

    And yes, you are on the top of the leaderboard right now, but it’s only because the sheer volume of your recent posts far exceeds that of DPH at his height. I don’t know if you are unemployed or on vacation but you clearly have a lot of time on your hands.

    So quit with the BS and accept the fact that not everyone agrees with you.

  36. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    I Run Bartertown
    I Run Bartertown’s picture
    Offline
    Joined: 10/11/2011
    Hat Tips: 13285
    Posts: 1753
    Eric Holder’s Fan Club In Turmoil

    Mr. Fix, BoG, good to see some people come here to do something other than advocate for Eric Holder! Stick around, this place needs a make-over and a good disinfecting. I think I’ll plan to spend some time here myself in this cozy thread wink.

    Stephanie, even I tried to be mad at you once, but I can’t. What a pathetic, PC-fest, run of the mill, least-common-denominator place this would be without you! Going way back to those who would ban people they didn’t like, and you stopped them. To now, where losers with too much spare time can come to believe they can chase people away by virtue of having started their ‘own’ propaganda/lies thread. SSJ, comparing that methodical and vicious torture of Kelley to a split-second decision after being beaten nearly unconscious (Ferguson) is dishonest. You demonstrate your naivete about these ‘communities’ with every post. You use the language of gun-grabbers, you promote Federal authority and dominance at every opportunity, you present issues in a one-sided way, you take people in Orange county expressing their concerns in a meeting and equate it to stealing rims, throwing Molotov cocktails, and howling for blood. Just look at the motley collection of sources you’ve resorted to using in this thread…a virtual ‘hall of shame’ of leftist propaganda sites. You are reduced, after all this time here, to having Libero as your best ally laugh. You want to chase people out of threads for disagreeing? Fuck off. You want to get them shut down for ‘name calling’ (goofball leftist term for people who disagree) , I hereby call you a cunt of the lowest order. Now run along and get another thread shut down, this time, your ‘own’.

    Have a wonderful day everyone.

  37. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    .

  38. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    i have been lying awake for hours, and wish i had someone to talk to. awake yes, too awake. i feel as if the world has gone insane, and most everybody pretends nothing is any different.

    Xty – wish you were back. i need someone to tell me that i haven’t gone crazy myself. (even if they need to lie.)

    and good morning.

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