I remember hearing about the Sandwich Age, and other than thinking about the Earl of Sandwich, who like the Earl of Chesterfield, has left his eponymous mark on history, I would tend to drift off into my own more immediate concerns. Like wondering where I had left my rolling papers. But as I contemplate carrying the bath transfer chair downstairs and imagine installing it in the cottage bathroom for my father-in-law, I sure wish the Sandwich Age meant a nice ham and brie on a baguette.
But I just have to tell you about my brother-in-law’s thumb, instead. He had the greatest story, it seemed, about having something grow out of you, inappropriately. As a teenager he had developed quite the zit on the side of his nostril, something really to be proud of, if life were fair, but it refused to yield, developing instead a dark ominous centre. And then one day he hatched, almost proudly, a nose hair that had tunnelled all the way through the flesh of his nostril, seeking a brighter existence presumably. He pulled it out with tweezers, a tough little corkscrew of a hair, plucked in its prime.
How could you do better? I know people have had spiders hatch from their knee, after incubating for months, warmed by a romantic December fire. It happened to a neighbour when I was growing up, and that seemed pretty good. And there was a reconstructed story on television, so it must have happened, about a girl who had an insect lay eggs in her neck while on holiday in Costa Rica only to have them hatch into larvae that squirmed in her brain and no one would believe her, until, on her wedding day no less, a savvy emergency room doctor, playing himself I might add, pulled them out, one by one, all six of them, and she felt much better.
But now we get to my brother-in-law, who, not content with producing a mere nose hair, has gone to great lengths to out do himself. Or I should say shorts. He tragically cut off the end of his right thumb (he is cleverly left-handed, like me, so whew) this summer with a log splitter I believe. Suffice it to say, he was doing a wood chore with a large machine, and when he looked down, part of his thumb was gone. They did what they could, but as he himself joked, they were stumped. And he ended up with a not bad stump, which hurt quite a bit as it healed. And then was quiet for a while, but not without moments. And then it began to grow a sort of white dot, almost like another story-worthy zit, but harder, and making one wish opium were easier to come by. Finally out came the tweezers and he pulled a lovely little triangle of nail out of the tip of his stump, about half the size of his baby fingernail he told us, like a new father giving you the weight of a small but promising newborn.
They went back in and had to dig out what I now know, and the whole point of this story was to share this disgusting but interesting bit of news with you so you would also now know, was “nail bed” they had missed the first time. These are cells that thanks to DNA have had the sense to develop nail growing skills, instead of turning into eyeballs or your liver or something. They had faithfully been trying to produce nail, and even a bit of skin, but their days were numbered, and they have been put to rest.
And just because that wasn’t quite enough, he added that the surgeon had loosened the skin on his stump … and he paused and he said, “you know what you do to a chicken when you put butter under its skin …”
I have been married now for longer than I have been alive, no … I mean I have been married for more years than I haven’t been married, having been married at the ripe old age of 23 … make that 15, and am now more than twice that and then some. You can imagine how many dinner conversations I have had with my in-laws. And now you know what we will end up taking about … how tasty it would be to roast uncle’s thumb stump, prepared just like Chef Ramsay’s Christmas turkey.
Bon appétit.
Edit to add the picture I couldn’t find yesterday, of my then future brother-in-law and me, when we were babes in the woods (actually, we are sitting on what was his parents’ front porch in downtownish Toronto):
hey, check out this job opening!, and of course I will need a staff, all will be well again. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-24638430
and yes Xty, we can add a grow room(wing).
If your b.i.l. invested in pm’s and miners, then we are a matched pair for maladroitness, as I too, tangled unsuccessfully with a logsplitter. 23 stitches, right forefinger. That and the first half of the 2011 Super Bowl were luckily the only consequences.
Luckily he already didn’t have much … saved him the pain of losing both his shirt and his thumb.
Oh, and terribly sorry to hear you had to miss half of that Super Bowl.
m44 – to save money, would you consider combining the chef and gardener duties? my resume can be found in your inbox, stamped priority.
i could submit a few entries for the Darwin awards, but somehow i have lived, and even have all of my complete digits! other than just being impatient, and sometimes using tools for other than their intended purpose, there is the simple fact that some tools can’t be very useful, and still be safe – like chainsaws and log splitters.
Xty – what’s the BFD? i think you should be able to do this with no tether if you want, just sign a waiver. i’d like to take a spin around this on a unicycle myself. but maybe they are afraid people falling off would land on innocent pedestrians below. 🙂
http://www.edgewalkcntower.ca/
We are left-handed eh? cool.
I wonder how that bakes in to the personality cake. I can never remember the right-brain vs left-brain difference…
mmm, i wish i had some of mom’s chocolate sheet cake. what am i doing here?
It is actually quite dangerous to be left-handed in a right-handed world, as Ned Flanders surely-kiddidily knows, and I have wondered if there was anything right-handed about the log splitter. Castles often had wooden spiral staircases, and they were designed a) to be flammable so you could burn them to prevent the marauders getting up into the keep, and they were also spiralled so that a right-handed defender would be favoured. Which probably meant they sent left-handed people in to do the storming.
As to the CN Tower, I have been up to twice, at vast expense and terrorist screening the second time, just so I could be terrified. I have a truly visceral fear of heights so even Imax movies can be weird as sweat pours out of the soles of my feet. Mikey lay on the glass floor but I could not even step on it. Why take such peculiar risks in life? Why be the lawyer, who, showing his articling students how safe the high office tower windows were, flung himself at one, only to go straight through it to his death. He did win a Darwin award, though.
Here is Mikey, making his mum want to barf, way too long ago, as he is going to turn 19 tomorrow and can’t be more than about 8:
And while I am apparently able to find things I couldn’t before, even though they were right in front of me (frontal lobotomy it always sounds like, I wonder why?) here is a much better picture of my inookshoook, looking brave, pre-infill house, which is why things look so spacious:
Remember all those articles in February about how this was the big turnaround in metals and miners, blah, blah, blah?
I’ll just stop right there, as a glance at any chart tells you how this is turning out.
Suffice to say, I’ve come to believe most PM investors are actually happier when they go back into their good old comfortable Stockholm Syndrome mode. Schmucks.
i sold most of what i had left of my miners a month ago to pay the tax man, locking in a horrendous loss. but in hindsight, i’m glad i didn’t wait.
Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose … a good motto for a nudist camp, of which we have several in Ontario. I expect business is slow this time of year.
Eric – you have forgotten – a downturn is merely an opportunity to dig that hole a little deeper. It is an easy script to write actually. Let’s see what next week has to bring … when it is flat. Look at the rat bastards … when it is down. To the moon … when it is up.
And send me a few bucks, I’m kind of hurtin’ here what with the kids and missus and all to feed …
just because something reminded me of this scene, and because our very own 44 gets mentioned…
Yup, now they are trotting out that well-worn, “Buy the Final Dip” nonsense. The Faithful lap it up, and hand over their wallets.
all i know is that i just saw my first robin.
i have resigned myself to accomplishing little today.
for that other place
for this place… and for my favorite wordsmith.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmalion_%28play%29
it’s your fault EO. i went and peeked in at the puke puddle. a quick skim is all that i needed to confirm that the place is indeed just like i have been saying, like a great big festering pile of vomit. partisan politics is stoopid California Lawyer. mod Jane/Stephanie, you are even stupider – a pissed off democrat turned into a pissed off republican. but it may even be more profound than that – wing-nuts are stupider than all other stupid combined. well i am done buying the (f’ing) dip(shit)s.
this author asks, “Why can’t they put partisan politics aside, do away with “party loyalty” and sit together as representatives of the American People, rather than the Republican or Democratic party? Why can’t they direct their loyalty where it belongs—to you and me and our kids? Why can’t they be a caring, intelligent decision maker, rather than the typical “partisan puppet.” Why can’t they rely on the quality of their character, simple facts, Americans’ input, and a bit of decision analysis to do what is BEST for America–not party? It’s really quite easy.”
i will answer – because of stoopid fuckers like CalLawyer and Stane. or is it that you are paid shills, and i’m the one that’s stoopid?
http://timothyjoseph.net/partisan-dumbass-stupidity/
Sorry I ruined your day.
Get yourself a seed catalog and start dreaming of green things. 😛
that place is revolting. gloom, doom, hate, fear, partisan politics, and bigotry, all that and more in a 5 minute glance. but it sells. and that’s all that really matters to those wing-nut motherfuckers, isn’t it? see ya in hell Turdville. 🙂
oops. i forgot to list profound ignorance above. go to Jesse’s today to read the opinion of a real lawyer, or at least one not shilling for payola.
http://jessescrossroadscafe.blogspot.com/
but hey, it’s all good now. your suggestion has helped to calm me down.
http://dope-seeds.com/
last comment on this subject lest i be banished from the Light as well. but the hypocrisy over there overwhelms common sense. this is the written word to go with the verse indicated towards the left bottom of the puke puddles home page.
“Scripture: Luke 12:22-34
22 And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat, nor about your body, what you shall put on. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. 24 Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! 25 And which of you by being anxious can add a cubit to his span of life? 26 If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? 27 Consider the lilies, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28 But if God so clothes the grass which is alive in the field today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O men of little faith! 29 And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be of anxious mind. 30 For all the nations of the world seek these things; and your Father knows that you need them. 31 Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things shall be yours as well. 32 “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.
Meditation: Why does the Lord command his disciples to not be anxious about anything? Certainly food and clothing are proper concerns. What makes these concerns foolish and harmful is thinking and acting anxiously about them. Jesus specifically says “do not be of anxious mind” (Luke 12:29). The root word for “anxiety” literally means “being of two minds”. An anxious person is divided, “tossed to and fro”, and often paralyzed by indecision. Fear of failure or some bad outcome usually cripples those afflicted with anxiety. What can free us from anxiety? The apostle Peter tells us to “cast all our anxieties on God, for he cares about us” (1 Peter 5:7). Trust and submission to God is the antidote to self-concern and anxiety for one’s life. Our Father in heaven knows our needs better than we do. Do you place your security in what you possess or in God who possesses you as his beloved son or daughter?
Jesus uses the illustration of nature — the birds and the flowers — to show how God provides for them in the natural order of his creation. How much more can we, as his children, rely upon God’s providential care? God is utterly reliable. In the Lord’s Prayer we are reminded that God is our provider when we pray: Give us this day our daily bread. What is bread, but the very staple of life and symbol of all that we need to live and grow. Anxiety is neither helpful nor necessary. It robs us of faith and confidence in God’s help and it saps our energy for doing good. Jesus admonishes his followers to put away anxiety and preoccupation with material things and instead to seek first the things of God — his kingdom and righteousness. Anxiety robs the heart of trust in the mercy and goodness of God and in his loving care for us. God knows our needs even before we ask and he gives generously to those who trust in him. Do you cast your cares and concerns upon the Lord with trust and faith?”
from http://www.rc.net/wcc/readings/luke.htm
alright, go badgers tonight, they looked good in the 2nd half of the last game, go hoos tomorrow. Woodpecker i have both jack and luke at the ready but “the man” says no ,even though they are the finest
‘s i’ve ever met;Fuck. i sure miss jerry, pretty sure this is a soundboard copy. love to all.
yup to all that. especially to Luke, and to Jack.
If one is actually looking for a blog with sensible daily commentary on gold (though I’m not sure why one would do such a thing) then I believe Trader Dan is one of the very few (OK, I’m actually going to say THE ONLY ONE, with all due apologies to peckerwood’s favorite Jesse)) who has maintained any integrity over a complete cycle.
Today’s post is a case in point. I hope Dan will forgive me reproducing the crux of his argument here:
“Remember, markets are based on differing opinions. Some are bullish; some are bearish. But keep in mind that they are just opinions and in that sense, guesses as to how the market might respond to a particular scenario. The only true proof consists of the price action. It either confirms or validates ones opinion or it does not. It really is that simple.
Traders who quickly realize that the market is not accepting their opinion and get out of the way become survivors and experienced traders. Those who want to blame other forces ( manipulators), etc, and whom refuse to get out, become former traders with a lesser net worth.
All that matters in this profession is whether or not you make money; not whether you were “right”. You are only “right” if the market confirms you are right. Other than that you are just a guy with an opinion that meant nothing. Period. Humility is a virtue that will serve to protect you long after pride has made fools out of prognosticators who keep serving up one dogmatic prediction after another.”
i never considered myself a trader. i caught multiyear trends right, and did well up to 2008. i have to admit, i got stupid, and thought i could trade. that honestly is what did me in. the knock out punch was trying to win back my money with plenty of credit going to that incredibly moronic BTFD mantra. i knew better too.
i like Jesse’s commentary. i don’t think he really gives actual stock advice. i do land on the side of manipulation of precious metals however. but that in no way means that the market isn’t tradeable, as long as that is taken into consideration.
well, i guess that is the same as saying that everything you need to know is already in the price.
Go Big Red.
Helluva game from the Badgers tonight. I haven’t watched them that much this year, but this was really impressive. Baylor was never in the game.
Jesse has some really good commentary, and a lot of super links. But his increasing obsession with the manipulation topic, COMEX delivery garbage, etc, is something I have totally run out of tolerance for. It has destroyed his credibility in my eyes. “Manipulation” has become a crutch for everyone who is losing wealth in metals. “It’s not my fault! I know I’m right, but those damn manipulators are stealing from me!”
This is why Trader Dan is so awesome. He sticks it right up the pooper of the manipulation whiners at every opportunity, and he’s not subtle about it either.
imagine my surprise! i thought for sure that i had killed the thread! but i now need to pass the baton to the Pacific Islanders.